So I have been around, I’ve lived in London for 8 years, I’m pretty aware of what group a particular bunch of people belong to but I still very much reckon hipsters are just a conspiracy of ones imagination, they don’t actually exist, only in people’s heads and on the internet..oh and on Instagram.
Over the last month I have been to Shoredtich and Cape Town and nothing, fucking nothing not even a pair of lenseless spectacles on the floor or a leftover bag of organic Fair Trade wasabi nuts. The other thing is the people who always talk about them so freely probably haven’t even seen one themselves and the description of them is always so vague - ‘They are like all arty and dig vegetables’ or ‘They ride bikes and have beards’ ..how fucking vague is that. It’s a completely overrated diluted fact of life this hipster business.
I think you are just mistaking sensitive fashion lovers with an appetite for rye bread and leaves as one of these so called ‘hipsters’ and when you see a dog you probably also mistaken it for Bigfoot. But Listen if you ever see one please capture it, freaking cage the fucker and let me know, do as those Americans did with those aliens in Area 51 in 1970 whatever..But I’m pretty sure it’s just a figure of your imagination.
HAPPY HIPSTER HUNTING
(but really you are probably not gonna find one..but maybe you will but you won’t)
SEE BELOW: Where so called ‘hipsters’ tend to roam. (Shoreditch)
AND BELOW: This old jumper was found in Mundy Street, London, apparently according to the conspiracy group ‘FUCK! LOOK! QUICK!’ this belonged to a fully practicing hipster
…to be continued
Really..no I mean really…Let’s talk about tequila and the fact that a lot of people treat it like it’s some heavenly love potion sent from the awesome gods of Planet-Fuck-Yeah. I simply disagree because last time I checked it tasted like horse urine mixed with gasoline and made me almost regurgitate my dinner on to some sluts lap.
I think somebody really cool and inspiring and with taste buds of a goldfish one day said ‘Fuck this shit is awesome so be like me, tell all the other people of the world to be like me and make sure everybody in the world knows that this shit is awesome otherwise you will DIE and never get laid again’. Yah I think that’s what happened and then basically everybody who wanted to be like him and everybody who can’t think for themselves(most people) said yeah! look at me! I’m so fashionable and hip I’m gonna treat all my friends and all your friends and the bar to a lil shot of yummy tequila!.mmmmmm..MMMMMMM for everybody. Nobody goes..mmmm I feel like something really treaty and sweety and lovely..’want a chocolate ice cream sundae?’..’no..I want tequila’..nobody.
So there that’s what I think about tequila, next time I’m at a bar and I wanna buy you fuckers a round of shots you all getting shots of Baileys..Yes damn you..Baileys it is.
Look at this dumbass, he thinks if he buys everyone tequila and makes a point of it he is guaranteed a hand job….
So the secrets out..my band WHAT NOW will be releasing a brand new album sometime in March 2013 titled ‘Move Like a Sinner’. An exact release date for March will be posted in Jan followed by pre-sales and new merch for the album. I’m really excited and super proud of this one as I think we really pushed the boundaries musically and lyrically. Check out the artwork below…for more details click here
Why does every Tom, Dick & Harry have a blog these days? Even me ..I’ve even got a fucking blog! It actually seems extremely pointless..It’s like somebody who collects stamps..fucking dumb. I love the fact people tell other people about their extremely awesome blog like it’s the shrine or temple to all existence. We don’t care about your dog or that you spent your weekend building a model ship with your Aunty Gertrude… I mean really. If every person has a blog then that means that the worth of your blog will depreciate more and more..It’s like saying ‘Hey check out my awesome toothbrush!’ ..No
Look some people actually have good content and by all means please pursue and carry on with that but please it’s just a fucking blog it’s not your very own Nike empire, you didn’t spend half your life trying to get it going. You simply signed up and wrote nonsense just like this blog I’m writing right now..it’s complete mumbo jumbo that only I’m going to read..me and my imaginary dog William the one legged Maltese poodle. Goodbye
Check out this guy and please read his blog because it’s awesome